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Been a while

Hey Lovelies,

I know, I know. I left for a long time. Things happen and change and they just get in the way. I started having more and more panic attacks. I almost lost my job because I was accused of things I would never do. There was an investigation on me, all because I told the truth and my bosses got angry and retaliated. The business was bought out and thank the Gods my new boss believed me and helped me through everything. I learned some hard truths last year. I struggled but honestly, I am doing better. I haven’t had as many episodes and my panic and fainting attacks have lessened. I have been taking this time to work on myself and build myself back up. I thank you for your patience and sticking with me through my hiatus. I am back now ❤ Now, let’s get through the rest of this pandemic together. Sending my love.

Absent

I was going to apologize for my absence and give you reasons, but honestly, that is just me. I get caught up in my moods and sadness and my energy is just so low that I can’t be bothered to write. When I think of something I start a draft but I don’t finish them. I have 2 drafts saved at present that might see the light of the sun or moon someday. Who knows.

Instead, I will say thank you for bearing with me as I fluctuate. I appreciate you.

Fondly, -SK

Power of a song

Hey everyone,

You ever think how crazy it is that a song can just take you back, and instantly change your mood completely? I have a few like that. Hotel California, A Drop in the Ocean, Heathens – you get the idea. However, nothing hits me as hard as 7 Years.

It came on the radio today and I haven’t heard it in a long time. My brain was racing “where did I know this song from?” As my consciousness was catching up something in my brain was saying ‘warning warning’ and I tried to turn back before I made the connection but it was too late. It felt like I was driving and saw a patch of ice too late. I knew what was coming and tried to fix it the best I could and swerve, but let’s be honest, it was already in motion and I knew the outcome already.

Afterwards, unwanted memories came flooding back and replayed the night that I associate most with that song. I was reminded of things and people I do my best to shove out of my mind. It was a good memory, but now it is just so painful to relive. I’m no longer that person in the memory and I am no longer connected or aquainted to those in it..

To hear that song today shattered my mood a little bit and I haven’t been able to get it back up. What do you do when that happens to you?

Appreciating you all, -SK

New England

Well, I guess I am officially a ‘real’ New Englander. Yesterday, after living in NE for 17 years now, I finally went to the Big E for the first time. I liked it well enough and it was interesting to see all of the vendors. I got a couple things: a christmas present, and a bear with my son’s name embroidered on it.

I am really proud of myself for going and staying the whole time. I only cried once the entire thing! It’s a big deal for me with the anxiety. There were multiple times where I felt like I would pass out from the amount of people there and how many times I had to interact with people. I swear you can only do small talk so much. To me, it is such a huge thing to say I stayed a day at the Big E and I’m proud of the accomplishment.

It is the small steps! Good food and good people, is a good time.

Sorry for not writing yesterday, honestly I was so ridiculously tired. I have more to tell you tomorrow but that can wait!

Rest easy and I hope your day is filled with ease. Tomorrow take one step, even if it is something like brushing your hair. You will feel better for doing it and I’ll cheer you on here! I’ll always be so proud of the ‘little things’.

-SK

Update

I hope everyone is having a good night! Man, I really need to start going to sleep earlier. Don’t worry, it will likely never happen.

Okay, so I know I was ridiculously cryptic earlier and I apologize – but honestly, I cannot use this site on my phone browser. I just found out there is an app, but I am having a hard enough time figuring this whole thing out. I’m not great at technology (I suck). I literally just learned what tags and categories are in regards to the internet. Needless to say, this is a learning process and a struggle in its own way. I promise as I go along and learn I will get better. Just try to stick with me until it happens – I’ll do my best!

As I alluded to earlier, I went to a witch shop last night to attend a class on Astrology 101.

Continue reading “Update” →

Crazy thought, I’m writing to you in the middle of the day. I’ll see if I can elaborate later as I’m on break and it’s oh too short. BUT I did something last night that is a “hobby” of mine. I took an astrology class. I know some people think it is mumbo jumbo but I am a total believer. Especially after last night. I’ll update more later. Alas, I need to go back… 😥

Hello stargazers,

I was supposed to go to bed ages ago, but of course, because of anxiety sucks I am still clearly up. You might know how that goes. I am however going to attempt to go to sleep. I promise I will give a proper intro tomorrow after work and my class. I just wanted to say hi and let you know I’m not abandoning you right after creation.

Sleep well and enjoy the moonbeams! -SK

The Journey Begins

An explanation behind the name: Thoughts of a Drowsy Pineapple

I will write my unfiltered thoughts here. As I think them, they will come out, as this is a place for me to express myself (hence the word thoughts). You are more than welcome to come along for the journeys! I am always tired and sleepy because I don’t get nearly enough sleep but also because depression and anxiety are exhausting. So, I chose the word drowsy to show that about myself. Pineapples, not only are they are one of the best fruits in the world, but my best friend used to write me stories when I was in High School to help me through my low points. In every story I was the Pineapple Princess and so the name just kind of stuck.

Basically, I am a drowsy pineapple just looking to spill my thoughts somewhere.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

photo of pineapple wearing black aviator style sunglasses and party hat — Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. on Pexels.com